


on lacuna and conjugation

by Ani



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Epistolary, Fluff, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-08
Updated: 2012-07-08
Packaged: 2017-11-09 10:32:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/454495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ani/pseuds/Ani
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>lacuna:<br/>1. An empty space or missing part; a gap, esp. in a book or manuscript. </p><p>conjugation:<br/>1. inflection of a verb, for person, tense, voice, mood, ect.<br/>2. a joining, union, permanent fusion.</p><p>A story told entirely in texts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	on lacuna and conjugation

We need milk. - SH

Already grabbed some - JW

Get more. - SH

We’ll never drink two gallons before it goes off, Sherlock - JW

Making cheese. Borrowed two bats, explain later. - SH

Two LIVE bats?! - JW

 

\---

 

What is this in the shower - JW

The red powder or the yellow slime? - SH

Let’s start with the slime - JW

Agreed. Slime is always more interesting. - SH

Let’s start with you cleaning the shower - JW

 

\----

 

Still on date? - SH

Yes. - JW

I can’t find your laptop. - SH

Well golly let me distract myself from my date to help you find my personal computer - JW

That was sarcasm. - SH

Wasn’t it. - SH

I do need the computer. - SH

Just come home from the date, she’s boring. - SH

No. I’m trying - JW

Why bother? - SH

A robot wouldn’t understand - JW

 

\---

 

Sherlock - JW

Sherlock I’m sorry about that text last night - JW

It was uncalled for - JW

I guess I just get lonely sometimes - JW

I’m buying biscuits for you - JW

Get the gingersnaps. - SH

 

\---

 

I can’t believe you like this show. - SH

This is a ridiculous villain. - SH

‘Exterminate. Exterminate. With a plunger’. - SH

Are you watching the newest episode without me?! - JW

While I’m washing your socks?! - JW

I believe you are doing all of our laundry. - SH

Adding my socks cannot possibly make it noticeably more difficult. - SH

Could you actually murder someone with a plunger? - SH

Well if anyone could it’d be you, Sherlock lol - JW

Sherlock? - JW

Oh God - JW

 

\---

 

I am out of biscuits. - SH

They were apology biscuits and the apology is over - JW

You used the remainder of the shampoo. - SH

That is not worth biscuits - JW

Maybe if you bought me sweets every time you apologized - JW

Or if you ever apologized ever - JW

John, I apologize for eating the cake Mrs. Hudson brought for us. - SH

She did not bring us any cake? - JW

Oh - JW

 

\---

 

You’re reading Harry Potter! - JW

I could not possibly bother. - SH

I don’t use nicotine patches for bookmarks - JW

You must have grabbed one once by mistake. - SH

Already on Order of the Phoenix I’m impressed - JW

I’m very busy with this experiment John. - SH

Do you know what happens to Sirius in the end? - JW

I am so busy with this experiment I am turning off my phone RIGHT NOW. -SH

 

\---

 

John. - SH

John, I apologize for not always being the best flatmate. - SH

Or friend. - SH

I understand being lonely. - SH

 

\---

 

I left dinner for you. It’s on the bottom shelf of the fridge - JW

THE RED LID. THE GREEN LID IS FINGERS - JW

I guess you would have figured that out - JW

Anyway. Be home from Harry’s as soon as I can - JW

 

\---

 

Lestrade has case. - SH

Home in twenty - JW

Meet me at scene. The lions were stolen. - SH

The lions? What lions? - JW

The lions John! - SH

 

\---

 

You don’t need to be lonely, Sherlock. You have friends - JW

We have already elucidated this subject. - SH

You have me - JW

Yes. - SH

 

\---

 

Why do we have kittens - JW

When did we get kittens - JW

You’d better not be doing anything horrible to kittens - JW

I am drawing the line Sherlock and the line is at kittens - JW

Mrs. Hudson is pet sitting and brought them upstairs because they were disturbing her nap. - SH

I will be home to remove them back downstairs after Molly finds me an ear. - SH

Also I have forwarded your last text to Scotland Yard. - SH

Haha I’m sure Lestrade will find it amusing - JW

No. All of Scotland Yard. - SH

 

\---

 

DO I have you, John? - SH __

\---

 

I talked to the witness and she never saw a car last afternoon - JW

Check if there is bicycle in alley. - SH

Under rubbish bins!! - JW

Green? - SH

Yes!! - JW

Tell Lestrade to check the boyfriend for alibi. Stay, be there in five. - SH

Brilliant!! - JW

John. While I am always affected by your regard, I’ll still understand your full enthusiasm if you restrain yourself to one exclamation mark. - SH

Bite me!! - JW

\---

 

Just noticed text from last night. Of course we’re friends - JW

Yes. - SH

 

\---

 

Wow thanks for making me toast - JW

It was nothing. - SH

Still, thanks - JW

Really, nothing. Not worth texting me from across the room. - SH

Still hungover huh - JW

We are never casing a pub for clues again. - SH

Not in character. - SH

Bring me water. And drugs. And stop texting so loud. - SH

 

\---

 

Sherlock it is three in the morning stop playing the violin - JW

I’m thinking. - SH

I’m sleeping!! - JW

Oh. Brahms is good - JW

Anything for you. - SH

 

\---

 

This is Harry’s third blackout in two months. I don’t care. Come home. - SH

No - JW

Sherlock I have to - JW

Sherlock I do love you - JW

You make me not lonely - JW

 

\---

 

Thank you. - SH

 

\---

 

Sherlock I am going to kill you - JW

And I will use your hair to mop up this floor - JW

A corpse is an inefficient mop. - SH

Obviously not the point - JW

Clean the bathroom floor before it hardens. Busy. - SH

I’m in the kitchen!! - JW

 

\---

 

Can I stick the electricity on your card this month? - JW

Yes. It’s Mycroft’s. - SH

Then Mycroft is also buying us Thai tonight - JW

Never let it be said that you don’t possess your own brilliance. - SH

You call me an idiot all the time - JW

That’s different. I want the green curry. - SH

 

\----

 

John I do love you too. - SH

I didn’t know what it felt like to not be lonely before I met you. - SH

But now I feel lonely all the time. Irritatingly paradoxical. - SH

Like now when you are gone. I note the absence when before an absence never provoked more than momentary acknowledgement. - SH

 

\---

 

Lestrade says he’d like the Oyster card you nicked back, please - JW

I’ll be home after filling out your paperwork - JW

Do you only feel lonely when I’m gone? - JW

No. Sometimes also when you are with me. - SH

Tell Lestrade he left it in his desk drawer. - SH

Lestrade says thank you - JW

Now he’s wondering where the cigarettes in his desk drawer have gone - JW

Perhaps he needs some sort of detective. - SH

Ha ha ha. Stop smoking!! - JW

Wait, when I’m there? Why? - JW

Sherlock? - JW

 

\----

 

What was that you were playing earlier? - JW

Tchaikovsky. - SH

It was really nice - JW

He was one of our greatest composers. - SH

Melancholy. Like a song of yearning but hopeful too. - JW

My God, are you putting that in your blog? - SH

People like the inside touch, Sherlock. The look into our flat you know like behind the scenes stuff - JW

And yet you’re always telling me to put my pants back on. - SH

 

\---

 

I suppose I occasionally feel lonely because you’re here but still so far away. - SH

 

\---

 

We’re out of bread? - JW

Mycroft came by. - SH

And ate twelve slices of bread?! - JW

He’s off his diet. - SH

C’mon Sherlock - JW

I toasted a few and spread out some marmalade on them and he was very offended by the offer. Quite rude, after all that trouble I went to. - SH

You threw them at him didn’t you - JW

He keeps stopping by unannounced. - SH

And your chair might be slightly sticky. - SH

 

\---

 

I know how you feel. Sometimes I feel like that too, like you’re so smart and above us all and why would you even bother with me - JW

 

\----

 

How could I do better? - SH

 

\----

 

The lock definitely wasn’t hard for him to break into - JW

What sort? - SH

I don’t know but I broke into it - JW

Oh yeah, the money is right here - JW

And the rat!! - JW

I’m on my way. Please contact if safe. - SH

What? - JW

The thief is there? - SH

No like a... a rat. A gross animal rat - JW

Please contact if idiot - SH

I’m touched by your concern - JW

Damnit I fell for it - JW

I do really hate rats - JW

But thank you - JW

 

\----

 

I’m missing you right now. - SH

I’m in the chair like two feet away from you - JW

I know. - SH

And you asked me to shut up like ten minutes ago - JW

I know. I’m thinking. - SH

Right - JW

 

\---

 

What is this in the microwave? - JW

Decorticated pig. - SH

Why? - JW

Molly wouldn’t obtain me a fetus - SH

Yeah that.... was not.... nevermind - JW

 

\---

 

Snape. - SH

I know! - JW

What an idiot. - SH

You have no soul - JW

One too many horcruxes. - SH

A pop culture joke from Sherlock!! - JW

Wait actually that worries me - JW

Wait the skull - JW

 

\---

 

Sherlock - JW

Sherlock I think I get it - JW

Sherlock are you awake? - JW

Yes. - SH

Sorry I know it’s really late - JW

I consider four early morning. - SH

I’m sorry but I just woke up and I think I get it - JW

And? - SH

Why you feel lonely. When I’m there. What you’re feeling - JW

I feel it too - JW

Remember when I said that sometimes two people like each other  - JW

So they go out and have fun together - JW

Yes. - SH

We should do that - JW

Are you asking me out on a date? - SH

Yes - JW

It’s four in the morning. - SH

Really the least of my concerns with this - JW

Then I would like a date. - SH

I would like to date you. - SH

Tea on your couch? - JW

Our couch. - SH

I’m coming downstairs - JW

I’m going to kiss you when you get here. - SH

God yes - JW

Also, we’re out of milk. - SH

 


End file.
